Since no two individuals with autism are the same, managing autistic meltdowns can be quite individualized and it will take some trial on error on your part to figure out how to calm an autistic child successfully. The good news is that many parents, therapists, and teachers have walked the walk before you, and there are certain tools and strategies you can use to help keep big emotions under control when a meltdown threatens to erupt.
Be consistent and stick to a schedule. Children with autism tend to thrive best when their life follows a regular routine with consistency across the board. While this isn’t always possible, maintaining a predictable schedule wherever possible will be helpful to your child. Talk to her therapists and teachers to ensure you are working in tandem, and when events threaten to disrupt your routine (i.e. travel, school holidays, etc.), give your child as much advance warning as possible.
Use visuals. Created using pictures, icons, words, etc., visual schedules are a visual representation of a sequence of events. Most classrooms use a basic schedule outlining the different activities students will be participating in throughout the day (this Daily Schedule Pocket Chart is a great option), but some children benefit from a more detailed outline of exactly what will happen from one moment to the next. This will ensure they know what is expected of them so they can plan ahead, allowing them to remain more in control of their emotions. for a more in-depth discussion about visual schedules and why they work so well with children and adults on the autism spectrum, as well as some of our favorite free printables and paid templates you can start implementing today!
Give warnings before transitions. Giving warnings before transitions is another great strategy for managing autistic meltdowns. This is especially important when a child is moving from a preferred activity to something he or she finds less interesting. A Time Timer is a great tool to use as it visually shows kids the passage of time, and providing a 10-, 5-, and 3-minute warning can also help make transitions easier.
Use reward systems. Positive reinforcement – the act of reinforcing desirable behavior immediately after it occurs to increase the likelihood that it will happen again – is a fabulous strategy to help encourage good behavior in children with autism. Ignoring undesirable behavior (meldowns) and rewarding positive interactions through sticker charts is a great tool for managing autistic meltdowns. We talk more about how to calm an autistic child through reward systems
Get a handle on sensory sensitivities. While some children with autism spectrum disorder have lowered sensitivity to environmental stimuli, others can be extremely sensitive to things like noise, light, temperature, tastes, and textures, which can make everyday living overwhelming and result in more meltdowns. The Sensory Smarts website is a fabulous resource for parents and teachers of children with sensory processing disorder. It was created by Lindsey Biel and Nancy Peske, co-authors of the book, ‘Raising a Sensory Smart Child’, and it offers all kinds of helpful strategies, including practical tips to help with daily challenges like tooth-brushing, bathing, and potty training. We’ve also created a comprehensive list of sensory diet activities you can implement at home to help work on and lessen the anxiety surrounding your child’s individual sensory needs,
Create a calming ritual. When kids with autism are feeling overwhelmed, it can be difficult for them to self-regulate, and the emotional reactions they exhibit are nothing more than an attempt to gain control. Taking the time to teach our children calming techniques can go a long way in helping them feel less helpless when their emotions run awry. See below for some of our suggestions on how to calm an autistic child quickly as well as our favorite calming activities that can benefit kids of all ages and abilities.
Keep stress relief toys on hand. There are many products on the market that are made precisely to help de-stress and calm children. A fidget cube is a good one to help kids and adults focus on something other than their feelings for a few moments. A sensory fidget slap toy bracelet is also a good one, as it’s a tactile toy that will distract younger kids when they feel overwhelmed. Even giving your child some coloring books and crayons can help them to calm down and get through their upset. My biggest suggestion when it comes to selecting and testing out different stress relief toys and tools is to find a few that compliment your child’s stimming tendencies. If he or she likes to spin things, a fidget spinner will be a great option. A sensory chew necklace will work well for kids who like to bite their nails, clothing, hair, etc. A fidget clicker works well with kids who need to keep their hands busy.
Make sure the whole family is getting enough sleep. Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to chronic health problems as well as weight gain, forgetfulness, lack of patience (!!!!), and feelings of depression. And since lack of sleep can also exasperate the symptoms of autism, it can feel like a cruel joke that autism is linked to impairments in the body’s circadian rhythm, abnormalities in melatonin levels, anxiety, and sensory processing sensitivities since each of these have negative impacts on sleep! Unfortunately, there’s no magic pill you can take to ensure you and your family are getting restorative sleep each night, but there are certain things you can do to increase the quality of everyone’s sleep, including:
- Avoid foods and beverages that contain sugar and caffeine after 12 pm
- Set regular wake and sleep times, and never deviate from them
- Establish and follow a predictable bedtime routine to help prepare your child’s body for sleep
- Remove stimulating activities an hour before bedtime
- Use blue light blocking glasses when using electronic devices close to bedtime. The blue light emitted from smart phones, tablets, eReaders, etc. can wreak havoc on your internal clock, and these glasses are designed to allow you to enjoy using these devices without the negative consequences
- Consider sensory tools such as a sound machine, weighted blanket, and/or blackout blinds for sensory sensitive kids
Take time for yourself. One of the hardest things about being a parent of a child with autism or other special needs is finding ways to get a break, and when your child is prone to autistic meltdowns, it can sometimes feel downright impossible to grab a little R&R. But guess what? It’s actually NOT impossible. There are various respite care options available that offer help to parents of children with developmental challenges, and whether you opt for an offsite program or decide to hire a caregiver to come to your home, you can rest assured your child will be left in the capable hands of someone who is certified and trained to deal with his or her individual needs while you recharge so you can be more present and available when you return home.
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